My boyfriend and I (by the way we worked things out) went to a Chinese restaurant the fortune cookie I received I did not quite understand when I read it. The fortune read:

“Today, taking a supportive role might benefit the group dynamic.”

I tried my best to figure out what it meant, but now I think I understand.

It was not until last week did I figure it out. My boyfriend and I have worked things out but I still have a problem with him.  He has the habit of smoking weed.  I do not approve of it and he knows. This habit is what almost caused us to break up again. He did not smoke until we broke up for 9 months. Recently his mom found out and has been talking about doing something in order for him to have a reason to stop.  He has told me that he does want to stop.  He says he has lowered the amount of times he does smoke now.  I think it would be better if he just quit altogether, but I try to let him do it his own way. I told him one night that even though he may not feel like it, I believe that he has the ability to stop.  He thanked me for being so supportive of him even though he has hurt me so much in the past.  What he does not understand is that I want this relationship to work and if that requires me to just hold back and be supportive then I guess that is what I will have to do.

The plan.

Don’t call him, let him call me…if he calls past 10, okay maybe 11, don’t answer. Maybe then would my so called “boyfriend” get the hint.

The problem.

I’m basically setting myself up for heartbreak. My “boyfriend” hasn’t called me since I decided on this. It’s been two days.

Two nights ago, we had an argument about how I don’t feel treated like his girlfriend. He did not understand.

Reasons for why I felt this way.

He hangs out with his friends EVERYDAY. He sees me once maybe twice a week and even on those days he hangs out with people before and after I am with him.

He cares more about his addictions than he does about me and expects me to accept what he does and not tell him how much I want him to stop.

I have to basically force him to hang out with me. He will not make the plans to hang out.

That’s not really all, but those are the main points. So am I asking for too much or is he really not what I need?

For once, I am not the one giving the advice…I am proving that even I am not as strong as I seem. I am asking for advice, so please help me. Help me figure out what should be done. I truly would appreciate it.

As we all know Global Warming is a problem that several people obsess over, trying to find a way to reverse the effects. In my opinion, there is no point in trying. I see this all as being part of God’s plan. Sure, I believe that it is an extremely huge problem but there is no way of reversing the effects. I hardly believe that there is even a way of reducing the effects. My thought is that if this is the way the world is to start the beginning of the end, then so be it. Yeah, I know everyone’s response to that would be, “What about the future of your children?”. If the future even gets that far, then sure I might worry a little, but I will educate my children, by telling them my beliefs and ideas along with the ideas of others. They can choose which to follow. In conclusion, I think that people tend to worry too much about the future of the world and the possibility of it ending rather than living life to fullest. Take my advice live for today, experience the world while we still have it in our grasp, and love like there is no tomorrow for you have no idea what could happen whether it be with the next hour or the next year.

Recently my school has come up with several new rules for what is acceptable and what is not when showing your spirit for your school football and basketball teams.  A lot of the newly inforced rules I have heard sound absurd.  For example, students are no longer allowed to yell or chant at opponents or show “displays of anger”.  Another thing banned is the use of the chant that incorporated the trademark, “WELL NO!” because the chant states the name of our opponents.  Isn’t this what football is supposed to be about, trying to burst the spirit of the other team and cheering on our team?  I mean that is how we show our support for our team.  So why are they trying to break the spirit we have for our team when it should be expected?  If you go to the superbowl you wouldn’t be expected to stop cheering for your favorite team.  Would it not be expected for you to get upset about certain calls by the referee?  Also would it not be expected to for you to boo the other team?  So why would it not be acceptable for you to show your enthusiasm for your school team especially when the other team is not being forced to quit from demeaning your school?

Today at school, I received a piece of paper titled, Ten Commandments of How to Get Along With People. Sounds like a good idea, but some of the commandments really bothered me. For example, number five says, “Be cheerful! Keep the corners of your mouth turned upward. Hide your pains, worries, and disappointments under a smile.”

In my opinion, this is not a way to live. Sure you shouldn’t unload all of your feelings onto someone when they only want to know how your day has been, but I don’t think you should be forced to hide your emotions. I think that this is part of what is wrong with society today. Teenagers and children seek rebellious ways in order let out there emotions because all of their lives they are expected to act a certain way or feel a certain way. I know that when I was younger I also thought it was wrong to show your emotions. The reason? My step dad would ground me if I cried over anything, so in response I became scared to cry in front of anyone. I was scared I would get in trouble. Now, I know emotions are a part of life. You shouldn’t be scared to reveal them. I’ve now come to the realization that emotions are actually really beautiful. So you shouldn’t be scared to show emotions, just don’t overdo it.

Why do people change?  I know it’s part of life to change, but what I mean is why do people change completely who they are?  From my experiences, people who normally hang out with me do nothing bad.  They don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs.  But all of those things change when we aren’t as close as we were.  They start hanging out with different people and begin doing things that they once said they would never do in their lives.  What they don’t understand is, that it kills me to see one of my best friends or ex-boyfriends going done the road to destruction.  It hurts.  Much more than they could ever understand.  Why change for the worst?  Why not change for the better?  I’ll never understand the need to change the way you are.  Especially when it involves doing things that you once vowed to yourself and to friends you would never do.

I have this friend. He may be the saddest person I have ever met or ever will meet. He posts several blogs on myspace.com telling of how everyday that he lives, he wishes he were dead. His reason for wanting out of life? Love. Everyday he feels like he will never be loved or never have someone to love. This kid is only sixteen years old. He doesn’t even know what love is. I tell him time and time again, to give it time, someday you’ll find someone to love who will love you back the same way. Does he ever listen? No. So instead, we hear another story about how he wants to die and how he thinks no one will ever miss him. He has it so wrong though. He has no idea how much hurts me to hear him say these things. I just wish I knew what to do. I wish I knew how to fix his broken heart. But sadly, I cannot because I can hardly fix my own.

I’m watching a television show on the Sci-fi channel where Derren Brown, basically gets into people’s mind.  The whole idea of what he does on the show astonishes me.  I never realized how easy it is to get someone to hand over their keys, wallets, and belongings by just asking them several questions.  Along with this, he pays stores with paper instead of money by asking them stupid questions that throw off the clerk’s mind.  This somewhat scares me.  The idea that someone could easily get away with something like this.  Watching it amazes me, because the clerk will actually look at the paper and count it, but doesn’t realize it’s paper until Derren leaves the store with the goods.  In a way, I don’t think that they should be presenting a show like this.  I think that this show would give too many people ideas of how to con people out of money or other personal things.

I was watching television awhile back and someone mentioned how the United States is too rich.  They were talking about how there are people in other countries that are poor and do not have food and how we have charities for them.  They stated that even though we have these charities set up, these people are still dying of starvation and from diseases because the charities aren’t making enough money, yet the United States have game shows that are willing giving people who are obviously not poor the chance to win a thousand to a million dollars.  The speaker then said that if we have all this money to give away, then why aren’t we giving it to people who truly need it.

This really made me think, are we really that selfish?  It is not right that we waste money on people who do not need it, yet there are starving and dying people out there that we could easily use the money to feed and give shelter to.

Whenever you read quotes or do research for something, you are almost always expected to give credit to those who wrote and/or said the phrase, quote, lyric, what have you. Yet, I don’t really understand why.  Even if you do give someone credit, it really doesn’t mean that that person was the original creator of whatever you are giving them credit for.  I believe that all ideas or thoughts that have been created have been thought up before.  That everything has happened before.  Not like deja-vu, but someone, somewhere may have had the same idea, phrase, whatever, yet did not get any credit what-so-ever because they weren’t as “famous” or “mainstream” as the person credited.  To me, it’s not truly fair.  I don’t believe that we should have the need to give credit for something as small as something someone said or thought.  You should only give credit to those who did something, like inventors or people who have helped things like cure diseases.